That's all that's left. 14 hours. My sons will all be one school year older in 14 hours. I will have behind me one of the most, to date, stressful years of my life.
14 hours - took me longer than that to give birth to each of my boys.
My oldest is son is adrift. At least I feel he's adrift. His grades are terrible. Not any F's but a few D's and C's. This is the son that taught himself to read. At the age of 4. The son that could recite entire Dr. Seuss books. At the age of 3. My beautiful first born son.
What has happened? Why is he struggling so? He has always been ... out there. Always struggled to find his group. His "thing".
This year more than any other, he's been happy. He has a great group of friends. He has a girlfriend that is nice and kind. He plays guitar and ukulele everyday and sings. He is passionate about ending the war and human rights. He is able to hold his own in an argument using facts and well thought ideas. And for all of this, I am grateful. I force myself to look at the big picture... grades aren't everything. Not everything for the rest of his life is about grades. But, but, but... grades are important when you are 16. They are important for keeping your cell phone in your possession (and not your father's). They are important when working your schedule for next year and your grades are too low to let you advance in math, etc... They are important when colleges start looking at who you are(on paper).
I have yelled, cried, begged, punished, praised, celebrated, nagged, worried, ignored ... all because of his grades.
I am at a loss.
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