11, 6 and 4

The grades my boys are in. My oldest was raring to go this morning. His schedule(after a few tense hours last week) is what he needs with a little of what he wants.

My middle was excited about his new Middle school. He was actually disappointed they didn't do any work today. I told him to wait until tomorrow.

My youngest is in the same grade I teach. He is very pleased we ride to school alone, just the two of us. He said tonight he loves his class and his teacher. Ü Fourth grade rules!

I am one grateful mom. My boys all have teachers I like and respect. All of them were excited this morning to go start the new year. All of them came home this afternoon happy and still excited.

I am one. grateful. mom.

Keeping my mouth shut

It's easier that way and it keeps you out of trouble. Except, when the person that told you something in confidence then tells someone else and the "story" gets out. I have had this happen 2 times in recent history and I know that it wasn't me that repeated the "story". It wasn't me. If there is one thing I am it is loyal and if I tell you I won't repeat it, I won't. End. of. discussion.

I have put a lot of time and careful thought about what it means to keep a confidence. Keeping a confidence is part of my professional job. A big part. It is also a part of my daily life and one that I take seriously. It amazes me to listen to people repeat hurtful things about others. It's amazing because they are often said in such a way that it doesn't really matter if the discussion is hurtful or not it's just exciting/fun/makesmefeelimportant/I don't know why else and it's going to be repeated.

I am again vowing to keep my mouth shut(I know I did and I know it wasn't me that spread the gossip). I am also going to start leaving when people start the whole "did you hear" conversation. That way, ignorance and knowing that I REALLY KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT can be my bliss.

Are you Ready? Are you Ready?

I have been asked this question for the past few days EVERYWHERE I go! And, I am pleased to report .... Why yes, I am! Actually not only do I feel ready, I am excited!

I dreaded the start of last year and this year, I couldn't be more excited. I know that I can do anything after the year I had last year. Any. Thing.

Are you ready?

How Do You Handle Disappointment?

When things don't go your way, how do you cope? If you want something and don't get it, what do you do to push on? Do you drink? Eat? Rage? Sleep? Sigh and go on? Figure out how to get revenge(if possible)? Pray? Pout?

I think that toddlers have the right idea about dealing with disappointment. A toddler can throw back their head and wail and scream and kick their feet and throw themselves down on the ground until they get their way or get tired of being upset.

As adults, we are expected to act like nothing is wrong or "it's all okay" and go on with our business. Well maybe this time, I don't want to. Maybe this time I want to scream and cry and throw myself down on the ground.

The Philmont Express

There were already 150 boys on the train heading west. Another 30 got on at our stop.

I just sent my oldest out west for 2 weeks to hike 82 miles in the mountains. He was excited and hopefully ready to be challenged.

I hope he remembers to look up and see all the stars.

The Book

You know the one I'm talking about. Did you love it? Hate it?

I'm reading it for the 2nd time.

I. Loved. It. Every chapter.

I had made some predictions. I was right on for some and way off for others.

JK Rowling thank you for sharing your gift. Harry and his world were a true delight.

Honey I'm Home!

Phoenix was beautiful. Tempe, was fabulous. We stayed in a resort that was amazing with great facilities and service. One of the many pools was right outside our door. It was open from 6am to 12 am. The boys were in the pool for most of the time we were in Phoenix!

The family reunion was great fun. It was nice seeing people in person and putting names with faces. The grandparents were in better health than they sounded on the phone so that was a relief.

It was so weird being in Tempe as an adult with family as opposed to my time there as a college student. The downtown has been redesigned and most people would say the changes are for the better. I, myself miss Hippy Town. This new and "improved" Tempe does not fit with the Tempe of my childhood or college years.

The boys loved the town. My oldest would move tomorrow if he could find a way. Middle and youngest loved swimming and the cousins but I don't think they're quite so ready to move. DH and I loved visiting but, much to our amazement, we were relieved when we pulled into town last night.

Phoenix... the Order and the Reunion

I just saw the new Harry Potter movie. I loved it. There are parts that I would have done differently, parts I would have included from the book.

We are counting down the days for our trip to Phoenix. There is a brother-in-law I've never met. Not to mention my father-in-law.

Tan lines and broken chairs...

What I did on my summer vacation.

And I couldn't be happier. Ü

I don't think I'm very good at this parenting gig...

*sigh* Remember growing up and all those times when a "friend" would say or do something that would cut you to the quick? I'm not sure what is worse... going through that or watching your children go through it.

Now that I think about it, it's way worse watching your child get their feelings hurt. Much worse.

We're at T minus 1 and counting

Summer school is over tomorrow. It's been a good experience and went by quickly.

Now, the real summer begins! We've got plans to travel to Phoenix to see family. Lake Geneva to see family. And more baseball and soccer tournaments are on the calendar.

People always told me to enjoy my kids when they were little because as they got older, time seems to pass more quickly. They weren't kidding.

I am determined to live in the moment this summer and soak in all the minutes and seconds of each day. I have books I want to read, projects to complete at home and always time being with my family.

Sweet Sweet Air

Air conditioning that is! After worrying myself sick, it was a simple quick fix! Thankfully this weekend wasn't hot and we all survived comfortably.

Summer school is set to begin tomorrow morning. I am looking forward to meeting my new students and getting to know them.

I really want to work on meeting people where they are at this summer. Just accepting them for who they are and not worrying about pleasing everyone. I still struggle with being ok with myself. I thought as I got older, this would be easier but it's still not. Although today, for one of the first times, I really didn't care what others were doing and what they needed. I tried something new today and worried and took care of myself.

It felt pretty darn good.

Ü

14 hours

That's all that's left. 14 hours. My sons will all be one school year older in 14 hours. I will have behind me one of the most, to date, stressful years of my life.

14 hours - took me longer than that to give birth to each of my boys.

My oldest is son is adrift. At least I feel he's adrift. His grades are terrible. Not any F's but a few D's and C's. This is the son that taught himself to read. At the age of 4. The son that could recite entire Dr. Seuss books. At the age of 3. My beautiful first born son.

What has happened? Why is he struggling so? He has always been ... out there. Always struggled to find his group. His "thing".

This year more than any other, he's been happy. He has a great group of friends. He has a girlfriend that is nice and kind. He plays guitar and ukulele everyday and sings. He is passionate about ending the war and human rights. He is able to hold his own in an argument using facts and well thought ideas. And for all of this, I am grateful. I force myself to look at the big picture... grades aren't everything. Not everything for the rest of his life is about grades. But, but, but... grades are important when you are 16. They are important for keeping your cell phone in your possession (and not your father's). They are important when working your schedule for next year and your grades are too low to let you advance in math, etc... They are important when colleges start looking at who you are(on paper).

I have yelled, cried, begged, punished, praised, celebrated, nagged, worried, ignored ... all because of his grades.

I am at a loss.

Life is so

unpredictable. So very unpredictable. There was a movie that Steve Martin did in the early 90's called Parenthood. Anyone see/remember this movie? His character likes things just so. He likes to know what is going to happen next and he realizes during this movie that life just doesn't work that way. His wife or maybe his grandmother(can't remember I need to watch the movie again) says that the fun and the joy in life is in the unpredictable. Just being and doing and going along for the ride.

I'm not sure where on that continuum I fall. Do I like things just so, or do I enjoy the ride? Honestly, for me the ride has been really great and really not so great. The thrill of getting on different rides and knowing that there are different rides to chose from is often what keeps me going.

I have always thought the movie wanted us to agree with the wife and not Steve Martin. He's worried about his son who likes to wear a bucket on his head and run into things. He's also worried about his wife being pregnant and how he's going to support his growing family. The wife is living in the moment enjoying the creativity and uniqueness of the bucket-wearing son and basking in the glow of her pregnancy. She seems so stress free and he seems so up-tight.

Do you think about enjoying the ride? Do you worry about the curve in the road and what's around the corner?

Oops!

Umm, I've been busy. Very busy.

Bat Boy was great! We are in full swing of baseball and soccer season. As of right now, I have only 18 school days left(can I get an AMEN!)

Prom was.... well, see for yourself.


http://picasaweb.google.com/murphymom/Prom2007/photo#5058889258279605122

Hold Your Bat Boy

It's been a long time since I last was here! I've been SOOOOOoooo busy working on the musical "Bat Boy."

I just saw this list and wanted to post it here to help me remember/keep track of my reading. I've bolded the ones I've read so far.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible - most, but not all
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

Wow! I've read more of those than I initially thought!

Ukulele phenom

Have you heard this... http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=829401773913198414

oh my oh my oh my.

I cannot even believe it is a ukulele.

because he first loved us

I play the piano at my church. I play for the morning service. Our organist retired, so I am the sole musician now.

Growing up, I would literally get sick playing the piano in front of people. It's not that I wasn't prepared or felt self-conscious, I would just get sick.

Shaking hands, bouncing legs, sweaty fingers, occassionally a nosebleed. Sick.

I play the piano at my church. I play for the morning service. There are usually 200 people in attendance.

I don't get sick anymore.

Bear down

The last time the Bears were in the superbowl, my neighbor drove a shopping cart through a wall in my apartment. Hopefully, today, my party won't be quite so wild and the Bears will win again!

You're the pride and joy of Illinois
Chicago Bears
Bear down!

Leaving a mark

I saw the movie "Freedom Writers" last night. It really touched me on so many different levels.

As a student in high school, I was lucky to have many wonderful teachers. One especially stands out, John Robb. John taught me so many things about life including the art of the argument, a love for literature, noticing the small things in life and following your passions.

John was instrumental in my growing up. He was the director for our community theater of which I was a member. John had a vision and passion for the theater that could be viewed as some by overwhelming. He was hard-working, driven, a perfectionist and critical. Nothing was good until he said it was good. The song would be sung over and over until he approved. The scene would be run again and again until he approved.

He was able to take simple people and mold them into being larger than life. He made us actors, painters and entertainers. John gave us an opportunity to become something we didn't even know we wanted to become.

John pushed me, angered me, and expected more of me than anyone else in my life. He also encouraged me to look beyond my own expectations of myself. When I though I couldn't, he told me I would. When I cried, he told me to use it for motivation. He taught me that life is full of small things, small moments and that these moments are the essence of what makes us great.

John left an indelible mark on my life. No one has made a movie about John Robb. No one has written a book about his work. But, I do know for certain, his mark, his passion, his vision is one that I carry with me everywhere I go.

What mark will I leave?