Hey 19

I was supposed to meet you on April 23rd but you were late. I was so anxious and excited to finally meet you, learn your name and get to know you as a person. But you weren't quite ready for the trip.

April 25th, my doctor sent me to the hospital and told me that you were on your way. Many, many, many hours later you decided to make an appearance. 44 and 1/2 hours later to be precise.

Imagine my surprise to learn you were not who we were expecting. All along, we had been preparing for a girl. The nurse told us that, the doctor told us that and your heartbeat told us that. You showed us all that the best things in life are sometime the least expected!

After all, I didn't even know you were to be until you were 18 1/2 weeks along. Again, imagine my surprise!

You see, I had begun to doubt ever having another surprise. I had lost your brother only a year before this and another sibling earlier that year. I think you kept yourself hidden for so long to keep me from worry.

Your name came from a frantic trip to a bookstore on your due date. I had decided, much to your father's chagrin that the name we had picked for a son wasn't the right name. So, off to the bookstore at the mall to pick another name. I know this sounds like there wasn't a lot of thought put into picking your name but that is not the case. Your middle name comes from two of the finest men I have ever had the privilege to know and to call grandpa. Your dad and I both loved our grandpa's and wanted you to carry that love with you. Your first name is a name of greatness. It is Greek in origin and means man's defender, warrior. You my son, are living up to that name. Anyone that knows you or has taken the time to get to know you understands what a warrior and defender of men you are.

I can still see my grandma's face when she first saw you in the airport. She was so excited and proud and in awe of you. She loved you from the moment she knew you.

As for your grandma, my mom... I will never forget the look on her face when she first saw you. All she could say was how beautiful you were. My mom loved being a mom but she is truly in her element being a grandma. You have been such a gift for her life. And the biggest part of that is the hope you brought to her. Hope that her life could once again be happy. Hope in watching you grow and learn and love. You are the best gift I could ever have given her.

I'm so glad we finally got to meet 19 years ago today. You have changed my life in more ways than you will ever know, well at least until you become a dad.

I love you son!

Frat

I want to remember last night so I'm going to write about it...

Deadwood was asked to play for a frat party... something about a Don Ho celebration. We laughed and talked about how starting to play at 10:30pm was going to test our endurance. I took a nap so that I would be wide awake and ready to sing my heart out late into the night, or early into the morning as it happened to be...

It was raining, pouring actually when my husband dropped me off at the frat house. Luckily, I have overcome my fear of going places alone and trying to find people I know when I arrive at the designated spot. Actually, this is a fear I forced myself to work through in college. Long before I knew what cognitive therapy was I was engaging in my own private practice with myself as my client.

Anyway, upon arrival, I found 2 of my bandmates and they showed me where we would be performing. Entering the house was like stepping back in time. The noise, the smells, the mess, the energy, the bodies... none of it had changed.

We had to wait for the band playing before us to wrap up their set. While we waited I spoke with some of the most polite young men I've met in a long time. Two of them were sober working. I didn't know what that meant and they explained that they stayed sober so their friends could get drunk and not have to worry about the cops, noise, or being safe. It was their job to worry and control the crowd.

One young man, Kevin let me use the bathroom in his room when he found out that the bathroom in the commons was beyond use. Kevin, your kindness will not be forgotten!

Once we started our set, the real fun began. The crowd loved us! They danced, cheered, sang along, encouraged, smiled and had such a great time! We played and played and played into the wee hours of the morning.

And today, I fully understand why going to frat parties is best done when you are in your late teens/early twenties. Ü

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

click the link... it's worth it i promise

No Payment, Kiss or Even a Thank You

Ever heard that saying... nothing like getting screwed and not getting kissed, thanked or paid.

I know what that feels like and I am beyond done. You can screw with me but not my family.

Especially not my family.

Poetry Month

In honor of National Poetry Month....

Mother to Son
Langston Hughes

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor -
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps.
'Cause you find it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now -
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

Far Away

It's days like these that I so miss living near family. Sick kids, work stress and no one to help.