Christmas Break 2007

It wouldn't be a holiday break without some illness that wiped out my entire family now would it!

Rotovirus is not something you want to be exposed to, trust me.

Trust. me.

Here's something I didn't know....

Your Inner European is Irish!

Sprited and boisterous!You drink everyone under the table.

Who's" Your Inner European?

I love my job.

I really do. A lot. But. I was SO ready for a break.

I still don't have all the presents I need. The sweater for my sister remains difficult to find. Also, we need one more present for my middle boy.

I tried a new recipe this week. It's Bailey's Fudge. It is sooooooo good!

Ice Storm 2007

I started this post earlier this afternoon and our internet crashed. So, I turned off the computer, read for a bit and then took a short nap.

Today has been a great day. We watched Christmas movies, ate brownies, drank coffee and played video games.

We really like snow days at our house.

I'm Lonely

Am I the only person who can be in a room full of people and feel lonely?

This probably wouldn't bother me if it were a room full of people I didn't know.

No Matter How Hard I've Tried

These years they've all rolled by like a broken down ...

I'll post a picture later tonight. My oldest boy is a man.

Here he is...

Tired

It's 11:00pm and my oldest still isn't home from play practice. The show opens in 2 days and there is still work to be done.

I've ticked a few things off my to-do list including band practice, guitar lesson, and play practice. Tomorrow will prove to be another busy day.

Must get sleep.

Oooops

Umm, I guess I stink at posting everyday.

I was crazy busy last weekend AND I'm crazy busy this week. Here's what I've been doing and what I've got on the burners...

A short list of what's on the agenda:
indoor soccer
basketball
high school musical "State Fair"
basketball
basketball pictures
guitar lesson
band practice
hitting practice
church choir
carry-in at school
4 dozen brownies for musical cast
dad coming from Wisconsin
mom coming from Illinois
hosting book group on Saturday

I need a day off.

16

16 makes the terrible two's look like a Disney movie.

And just think, I get to do it 2 more times!!!

I love me some Keens.

I really really love Keens. I love them so much, I got myself some today. I can't wait to get to wear them!

Post in a Flash

I have to make this short. I had band practice tonight. It went well ~ I have LOTS of new songs to learn.

Oldest is wanted to message people so I must go!

Monday Monday

so good to me. I had a much better day today.

Here are pics of my current works in progress. The first is a hat for middle. It's in Bears colors. I need to hurry as it is getting colder!



This is the cardigan I'm knitting for myself. It's been on the back burner while I work on my son's hat. The picture doesn't show off the color of the yarn.

I've had a terrible,

horrible, no good, very bad day.

I would like a do over.

Knitting and Posting

I've been knitting today. Not on my sweater though. I'm knitting a hat for my middle boy and I'm hurrying to finish before it gets cold. I still can't find my digital camera. I will look for it again tomorrow.

I hope this counts as a post. I've been up since 5:30am. I'm really glad we finally get to set our clocks by one hour. I could use the hour I lost this morning.

Friday Night Football

It is Friday night and I'm going to the high school football game. I don't have a son playing on the team. Nor do I have a son playing in the marching band. So, why am I going? Well, I have a son that wants to play in the band when he gets to high school. I also have a son that wants to play on the team when he gets to high school. So I guess I'm going to prepare myself for the upcoming years.

It is senior night and thus a very emotional time for a lot of parents. A time when we realize the years, days and minutes we have spent with our children living with us under our roof are coming to an end. A time when we realize they don't need us in the same way anymore. A time when we can look at our children and reflect on who our children are and who we've become.

So tonight, I will watch my 2 younger sons playing with their friends. I will also look for my oldest boy with his new girl. I hope to live tonight to the fullest because I know that my time with my own boys is slipping by so very quickly .

The First of Thirty

I've never signed up for anything like blog for a month/knit a sweater in a month before. It's daunting to think about coming up with something to write about/time to knit everyday day. So, here goes....

My middle son had his first band concert tonight. He plays the trombone and has practiced more than his older brother EVER did his entire 5 years in band(he prefers singing and playing stringed instruments). He told me on the way to the concert that he had auditioned to play a solo at the concert. His teacher was to announce who was chosen when the students arrived. I enjoyed the concert and was very pleased and proud when the teacher announced that 4 students out of 40 had been chosen to do solos and middle was one. He did a fine job and I can tell by the smile on his face and look in his eyes that he deeply enjoys playing music.

I don't have any pictures to attach because I can't find my digital camera. It is somewhere in my house that is too much of a mess to find anything in right now. My friend graciously took some pics for me and I'll post some tomorrow.

I also can't post pics of my in progress sweater. I am knitting myself a sweater. It's a cardigan in black/grey yarn. It is coming along slowly. Very. Slowly. I cut my finger Tuesday night on a butcher knife. It's amazing how cutting a finger makes me feel so crippled.

29 to go....

Because I don't have anything else to do...

I know. I know. I'm crazy.

Oh and I also did this...... because I'm really crazy.

And the author's purpose is...

I love pumpkin spice coffee.
I love pumpkin bread.
I love Nickel Creek.
I love fall and wearing jackets and sweatshirts.
I love teaching.
I love my husband.
I love my three sons(not the television show).
I love to read.
I love to knit.
I love to sing.
I love making a home for my family.
I love.

Amazing

It was amazing. I had such a great time!

I have been asked back and we play again next weekend!

Totally

worth the wait.

It was even better than I imagined.

I have wanted to do this pretty much my whole life.

I am amazed when I think back just a few years ago how unhappy and unfulfilled I was. My life has changed so much since then. This new opportunity is the flower on the icing of the cake.

I have a career, a job that I love. I have friends that mean the world to me. I have creative outlets that are fulfilling and enrich my life in so many ways. And I have a family that I only prayed and wished and hoped for.

Totally worth the wait.

Good Things Are Worth Waiting For

I am so excited.

It has finally happened.

I got a call Friday night.

Tuesday I get to try it out.

I am so excited!

Friday Night

I had a great time yesterday. I spent some time with some good friends, met some new people and saw some old friends. I had a really good time. I am so grateful for what I have and for where I am.

School is good. I see great things happening and feel useful. I have my work cut out for me but the possibilites are very exciting.

My family is happy and well. What more could one ask for?

11, 6 and 4

The grades my boys are in. My oldest was raring to go this morning. His schedule(after a few tense hours last week) is what he needs with a little of what he wants.

My middle was excited about his new Middle school. He was actually disappointed they didn't do any work today. I told him to wait until tomorrow.

My youngest is in the same grade I teach. He is very pleased we ride to school alone, just the two of us. He said tonight he loves his class and his teacher. Ü Fourth grade rules!

I am one grateful mom. My boys all have teachers I like and respect. All of them were excited this morning to go start the new year. All of them came home this afternoon happy and still excited.

I am one. grateful. mom.

Keeping my mouth shut

It's easier that way and it keeps you out of trouble. Except, when the person that told you something in confidence then tells someone else and the "story" gets out. I have had this happen 2 times in recent history and I know that it wasn't me that repeated the "story". It wasn't me. If there is one thing I am it is loyal and if I tell you I won't repeat it, I won't. End. of. discussion.

I have put a lot of time and careful thought about what it means to keep a confidence. Keeping a confidence is part of my professional job. A big part. It is also a part of my daily life and one that I take seriously. It amazes me to listen to people repeat hurtful things about others. It's amazing because they are often said in such a way that it doesn't really matter if the discussion is hurtful or not it's just exciting/fun/makesmefeelimportant/I don't know why else and it's going to be repeated.

I am again vowing to keep my mouth shut(I know I did and I know it wasn't me that spread the gossip). I am also going to start leaving when people start the whole "did you hear" conversation. That way, ignorance and knowing that I REALLY KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT can be my bliss.

Are you Ready? Are you Ready?

I have been asked this question for the past few days EVERYWHERE I go! And, I am pleased to report .... Why yes, I am! Actually not only do I feel ready, I am excited!

I dreaded the start of last year and this year, I couldn't be more excited. I know that I can do anything after the year I had last year. Any. Thing.

Are you ready?

How Do You Handle Disappointment?

When things don't go your way, how do you cope? If you want something and don't get it, what do you do to push on? Do you drink? Eat? Rage? Sleep? Sigh and go on? Figure out how to get revenge(if possible)? Pray? Pout?

I think that toddlers have the right idea about dealing with disappointment. A toddler can throw back their head and wail and scream and kick their feet and throw themselves down on the ground until they get their way or get tired of being upset.

As adults, we are expected to act like nothing is wrong or "it's all okay" and go on with our business. Well maybe this time, I don't want to. Maybe this time I want to scream and cry and throw myself down on the ground.

The Philmont Express

There were already 150 boys on the train heading west. Another 30 got on at our stop.

I just sent my oldest out west for 2 weeks to hike 82 miles in the mountains. He was excited and hopefully ready to be challenged.

I hope he remembers to look up and see all the stars.

The Book

You know the one I'm talking about. Did you love it? Hate it?

I'm reading it for the 2nd time.

I. Loved. It. Every chapter.

I had made some predictions. I was right on for some and way off for others.

JK Rowling thank you for sharing your gift. Harry and his world were a true delight.

Honey I'm Home!

Phoenix was beautiful. Tempe, was fabulous. We stayed in a resort that was amazing with great facilities and service. One of the many pools was right outside our door. It was open from 6am to 12 am. The boys were in the pool for most of the time we were in Phoenix!

The family reunion was great fun. It was nice seeing people in person and putting names with faces. The grandparents were in better health than they sounded on the phone so that was a relief.

It was so weird being in Tempe as an adult with family as opposed to my time there as a college student. The downtown has been redesigned and most people would say the changes are for the better. I, myself miss Hippy Town. This new and "improved" Tempe does not fit with the Tempe of my childhood or college years.

The boys loved the town. My oldest would move tomorrow if he could find a way. Middle and youngest loved swimming and the cousins but I don't think they're quite so ready to move. DH and I loved visiting but, much to our amazement, we were relieved when we pulled into town last night.

Phoenix... the Order and the Reunion

I just saw the new Harry Potter movie. I loved it. There are parts that I would have done differently, parts I would have included from the book.

We are counting down the days for our trip to Phoenix. There is a brother-in-law I've never met. Not to mention my father-in-law.

Tan lines and broken chairs...

What I did on my summer vacation.

And I couldn't be happier. Ü

I don't think I'm very good at this parenting gig...

*sigh* Remember growing up and all those times when a "friend" would say or do something that would cut you to the quick? I'm not sure what is worse... going through that or watching your children go through it.

Now that I think about it, it's way worse watching your child get their feelings hurt. Much worse.

We're at T minus 1 and counting

Summer school is over tomorrow. It's been a good experience and went by quickly.

Now, the real summer begins! We've got plans to travel to Phoenix to see family. Lake Geneva to see family. And more baseball and soccer tournaments are on the calendar.

People always told me to enjoy my kids when they were little because as they got older, time seems to pass more quickly. They weren't kidding.

I am determined to live in the moment this summer and soak in all the minutes and seconds of each day. I have books I want to read, projects to complete at home and always time being with my family.

Sweet Sweet Air

Air conditioning that is! After worrying myself sick, it was a simple quick fix! Thankfully this weekend wasn't hot and we all survived comfortably.

Summer school is set to begin tomorrow morning. I am looking forward to meeting my new students and getting to know them.

I really want to work on meeting people where they are at this summer. Just accepting them for who they are and not worrying about pleasing everyone. I still struggle with being ok with myself. I thought as I got older, this would be easier but it's still not. Although today, for one of the first times, I really didn't care what others were doing and what they needed. I tried something new today and worried and took care of myself.

It felt pretty darn good.

Ü

14 hours

That's all that's left. 14 hours. My sons will all be one school year older in 14 hours. I will have behind me one of the most, to date, stressful years of my life.

14 hours - took me longer than that to give birth to each of my boys.

My oldest is son is adrift. At least I feel he's adrift. His grades are terrible. Not any F's but a few D's and C's. This is the son that taught himself to read. At the age of 4. The son that could recite entire Dr. Seuss books. At the age of 3. My beautiful first born son.

What has happened? Why is he struggling so? He has always been ... out there. Always struggled to find his group. His "thing".

This year more than any other, he's been happy. He has a great group of friends. He has a girlfriend that is nice and kind. He plays guitar and ukulele everyday and sings. He is passionate about ending the war and human rights. He is able to hold his own in an argument using facts and well thought ideas. And for all of this, I am grateful. I force myself to look at the big picture... grades aren't everything. Not everything for the rest of his life is about grades. But, but, but... grades are important when you are 16. They are important for keeping your cell phone in your possession (and not your father's). They are important when working your schedule for next year and your grades are too low to let you advance in math, etc... They are important when colleges start looking at who you are(on paper).

I have yelled, cried, begged, punished, praised, celebrated, nagged, worried, ignored ... all because of his grades.

I am at a loss.

Life is so

unpredictable. So very unpredictable. There was a movie that Steve Martin did in the early 90's called Parenthood. Anyone see/remember this movie? His character likes things just so. He likes to know what is going to happen next and he realizes during this movie that life just doesn't work that way. His wife or maybe his grandmother(can't remember I need to watch the movie again) says that the fun and the joy in life is in the unpredictable. Just being and doing and going along for the ride.

I'm not sure where on that continuum I fall. Do I like things just so, or do I enjoy the ride? Honestly, for me the ride has been really great and really not so great. The thrill of getting on different rides and knowing that there are different rides to chose from is often what keeps me going.

I have always thought the movie wanted us to agree with the wife and not Steve Martin. He's worried about his son who likes to wear a bucket on his head and run into things. He's also worried about his wife being pregnant and how he's going to support his growing family. The wife is living in the moment enjoying the creativity and uniqueness of the bucket-wearing son and basking in the glow of her pregnancy. She seems so stress free and he seems so up-tight.

Do you think about enjoying the ride? Do you worry about the curve in the road and what's around the corner?

Oops!

Umm, I've been busy. Very busy.

Bat Boy was great! We are in full swing of baseball and soccer season. As of right now, I have only 18 school days left(can I get an AMEN!)

Prom was.... well, see for yourself.


http://picasaweb.google.com/murphymom/Prom2007/photo#5058889258279605122

Hold Your Bat Boy

It's been a long time since I last was here! I've been SOOOOOoooo busy working on the musical "Bat Boy."

I just saw this list and wanted to post it here to help me remember/keep track of my reading. I've bolded the ones I've read so far.

1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible - most, but not all
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

Wow! I've read more of those than I initially thought!

Ukulele phenom

Have you heard this... http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=829401773913198414

oh my oh my oh my.

I cannot even believe it is a ukulele.

because he first loved us

I play the piano at my church. I play for the morning service. Our organist retired, so I am the sole musician now.

Growing up, I would literally get sick playing the piano in front of people. It's not that I wasn't prepared or felt self-conscious, I would just get sick.

Shaking hands, bouncing legs, sweaty fingers, occassionally a nosebleed. Sick.

I play the piano at my church. I play for the morning service. There are usually 200 people in attendance.

I don't get sick anymore.

Bear down

The last time the Bears were in the superbowl, my neighbor drove a shopping cart through a wall in my apartment. Hopefully, today, my party won't be quite so wild and the Bears will win again!

You're the pride and joy of Illinois
Chicago Bears
Bear down!

Leaving a mark

I saw the movie "Freedom Writers" last night. It really touched me on so many different levels.

As a student in high school, I was lucky to have many wonderful teachers. One especially stands out, John Robb. John taught me so many things about life including the art of the argument, a love for literature, noticing the small things in life and following your passions.

John was instrumental in my growing up. He was the director for our community theater of which I was a member. John had a vision and passion for the theater that could be viewed as some by overwhelming. He was hard-working, driven, a perfectionist and critical. Nothing was good until he said it was good. The song would be sung over and over until he approved. The scene would be run again and again until he approved.

He was able to take simple people and mold them into being larger than life. He made us actors, painters and entertainers. John gave us an opportunity to become something we didn't even know we wanted to become.

John pushed me, angered me, and expected more of me than anyone else in my life. He also encouraged me to look beyond my own expectations of myself. When I though I couldn't, he told me I would. When I cried, he told me to use it for motivation. He taught me that life is full of small things, small moments and that these moments are the essence of what makes us great.

John left an indelible mark on my life. No one has made a movie about John Robb. No one has written a book about his work. But, I do know for certain, his mark, his passion, his vision is one that I carry with me everywhere I go.

What mark will I leave?

My Love

Growing up, I was sure I was going to be famous. I envisioned myself either a star of the stage or the music scene. I worked toward my goals taking dance lessons, acting lessons, voice and piano lessons. I auditioned for numerous plays(and got a lot of parts), played in different bands and worked hard on perfecting my "craft".

When I met my husband, my biological clock started ticking so loudly, it totally derailed my vision of my future. I abandoned my dreams of superstardom and set my sights on having a family with this man.

I really didn't have any idea how to make a family or a marriage work. My own parents were divorced and while they were married, they were very unhappy. My grandparents had had a happy marriage but having viewed this relationship as a child, I wasn't sure that I hadn't made things look better than they really were.

Seventeen years later, this man and I are still married. My marriage has lasted longer than my parents marriage. By one year. We have 3 wonderful sons that were very much wished and hoped and prayed for. Our marriage has gone through some very difficult times ~ try raising 3 sons while your husband works and puts himself through college and then you work full time and get a masters degree. But mostly, our marriage has had wonderful times.

Tonight, when I sat down to write this post about my upcoming anniversary, I realized that I am famous. I might not be a famous actress or rock star, but I am famous. I am loved and adored and appreciated by my husband and by my three sons. And that, is better than any fame I ever imagined for myself as a young girl.

Google is everywhere....

everywhere, everywhere....

It's been a long long time since I lasted posted. Hmm.

School is .... good.

Home life is ... great.

my inner peace is ... right at this moment .... really really good.

All in all, things are much better since my last entry. I'm not saying that EVERYTHING is perfect, but, definitely better.

I've taught myself to knit(actually the art teacher at my school helped) and I'm almost finished with a scarf. I find knitting to be so fulfilling. It is so satisfying to create something that I can actually wear!

I've read a LOT of great books. I would like to start a list of what I've read in my book group both to keep track and also just to be visually impressed by the length of the list

Gotta go make supper now..

rj