Air conditioning that is! After worrying myself sick, it was a simple quick fix! Thankfully this weekend wasn't hot and we all survived comfortably.
Summer school is set to begin tomorrow morning. I am looking forward to meeting my new students and getting to know them.
I really want to work on meeting people where they are at this summer. Just accepting them for who they are and not worrying about pleasing everyone. I still struggle with being ok with myself. I thought as I got older, this would be easier but it's still not. Although today, for one of the first times, I really didn't care what others were doing and what they needed. I tried something new today and worried and took care of myself.
It felt pretty darn good.
Ü
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
14 hours
That's all that's left. 14 hours. My sons will all be one school year older in 14 hours. I will have behind me one of the most, to date, stressful years of my life.
14 hours - took me longer than that to give birth to each of my boys.
My oldest is son is adrift. At least I feel he's adrift. His grades are terrible. Not any F's but a few D's and C's. This is the son that taught himself to read. At the age of 4. The son that could recite entire Dr. Seuss books. At the age of 3. My beautiful first born son.
What has happened? Why is he struggling so? He has always been ... out there. Always struggled to find his group. His "thing".
This year more than any other, he's been happy. He has a great group of friends. He has a girlfriend that is nice and kind. He plays guitar and ukulele everyday and sings. He is passionate about ending the war and human rights. He is able to hold his own in an argument using facts and well thought ideas. And for all of this, I am grateful. I force myself to look at the big picture... grades aren't everything. Not everything for the rest of his life is about grades. But, but, but... grades are important when you are 16. They are important for keeping your cell phone in your possession (and not your father's). They are important when working your schedule for next year and your grades are too low to let you advance in math, etc... They are important when colleges start looking at who you are(on paper).
I have yelled, cried, begged, punished, praised, celebrated, nagged, worried, ignored ... all because of his grades.
I am at a loss.
14 hours - took me longer than that to give birth to each of my boys.
My oldest is son is adrift. At least I feel he's adrift. His grades are terrible. Not any F's but a few D's and C's. This is the son that taught himself to read. At the age of 4. The son that could recite entire Dr. Seuss books. At the age of 3. My beautiful first born son.
What has happened? Why is he struggling so? He has always been ... out there. Always struggled to find his group. His "thing".
This year more than any other, he's been happy. He has a great group of friends. He has a girlfriend that is nice and kind. He plays guitar and ukulele everyday and sings. He is passionate about ending the war and human rights. He is able to hold his own in an argument using facts and well thought ideas. And for all of this, I am grateful. I force myself to look at the big picture... grades aren't everything. Not everything for the rest of his life is about grades. But, but, but... grades are important when you are 16. They are important for keeping your cell phone in your possession (and not your father's). They are important when working your schedule for next year and your grades are too low to let you advance in math, etc... They are important when colleges start looking at who you are(on paper).
I have yelled, cried, begged, punished, praised, celebrated, nagged, worried, ignored ... all because of his grades.
I am at a loss.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Life is so
unpredictable. So very unpredictable. There was a movie that Steve Martin did in the early 90's called Parenthood. Anyone see/remember this movie? His character likes things just so. He likes to know what is going to happen next and he realizes during this movie that life just doesn't work that way. His wife or maybe his grandmother(can't remember I need to watch the movie again) says that the fun and the joy in life is in the unpredictable. Just being and doing and going along for the ride.
I'm not sure where on that continuum I fall. Do I like things just so, or do I enjoy the ride? Honestly, for me the ride has been really great and really not so great. The thrill of getting on different rides and knowing that there are different rides to chose from is often what keeps me going.
I have always thought the movie wanted us to agree with the wife and not Steve Martin. He's worried about his son who likes to wear a bucket on his head and run into things. He's also worried about his wife being pregnant and how he's going to support his growing family. The wife is living in the moment enjoying the creativity and uniqueness of the bucket-wearing son and basking in the glow of her pregnancy. She seems so stress free and he seems so up-tight.
Do you think about enjoying the ride? Do you worry about the curve in the road and what's around the corner?
I'm not sure where on that continuum I fall. Do I like things just so, or do I enjoy the ride? Honestly, for me the ride has been really great and really not so great. The thrill of getting on different rides and knowing that there are different rides to chose from is often what keeps me going.
I have always thought the movie wanted us to agree with the wife and not Steve Martin. He's worried about his son who likes to wear a bucket on his head and run into things. He's also worried about his wife being pregnant and how he's going to support his growing family. The wife is living in the moment enjoying the creativity and uniqueness of the bucket-wearing son and basking in the glow of her pregnancy. She seems so stress free and he seems so up-tight.
Do you think about enjoying the ride? Do you worry about the curve in the road and what's around the corner?
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