This post is not going to win me any popular votes.
This Christmas was .... in so many different ways. It saddens me to think that a time in my life has passed, never to be recaptured. I guess, if I were an optimist, I would be excited at all the new opportunities and things I can look forward to. But I'm not.
My youngest sister was unable to come home for Christmas. For many different reasons, some real and some imagined, her family stayed put. Now that the big day is over, I'm thinking she was probably the smart one for making this choice.
My other sister and I both went "home" to my mom's house. Excited to see my niece and nephews, off we went... Christmas Eve was fun... ask me sometime about the service I attended with my brother-in-law and sister...
Later that night however, I began to feel small and continue to feel this way. As I watched my sister unpack her children's Santa presents, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable. Sean and I made a decision that this was the year we WERE NOT going to go overboard. We WERE NOT going to buy buy buy just so our kids would get SO MANY PRESENTS THEY WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST CHILDREN ON THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, this year, we were very selective and gave them one big thing and a few small things that were well thought out and intentional.
Let's just say that my nephews and niece were THE HAPPIEST CHILDREN ON THE PLANET Christmas morning... at least for a few minutes. And my boys, well, judging by the looks on their faces, they were not among that happy group.
I could write about how our choice was the better one - our choice is helping them grow into appreciative, conscientious men. They don't need a lot of stuff. They won't play with a lot of stuff.
But, I still can't shake that "I'm small" feeling: I'm not as good of a mother/parent - I've made poor choices and that's why I can't afford to buy out the store for my kids - My kids deserve all that stuff too...
Next year, we're staying home.
3 comments:
Funny that you write this. Josh and I had the same thoughts this year. We chose to be selective and not buy things just so that the kids had more to open. I feel like we have really gotten away from the meaning of Christmas and that saddens me.
We did the same thing. We told the kids up front that we were spending $40/person on gifts this year. Period. What we didn't tell them was that we used money my parents had sent for Christmas. We have to keep our debt at an equilibrium, or we will never escape it. That huge grant bit me hard with taxes-- and pair that with credit card debt that is STILL leftover from my divorce, and it's just not pretty.
I'm so sorry that your children had to watch the excess their cousins got, but I hope the memory for them in the future will be the fact that you and Sean didn't have to buy your kids with expensive crap.
There is no shame in having to have a budget. I don't feel ashamed. We all work damn hard-- and we do the best we can. You are in INSPIRATIONAL mother, Rebecca. (((hugs)))
I am with you on this. You know George has always felt that we go overboard for the sake of 'making a memorable, happy Christmas' for the kids. I have fought him on that. I had such crappy Christmases as a kid that I try hard to make sure it doesn't happen. But we stuck with a toned down gift exchange- Jesus only received three presents, I said. I could tell the kids were disappointed too. However, I noticed right away that Anna treated the gifts she did receive with more reverence.
I had to stop going to Amy's house first thing Christmas morning (as we had for at least 15 years) because it was so over the top. Amy and her mom will skip paying her mortgage to buy a whole bunch of stuff for Christmas. I couldn't do it anymore.
Thanks for sharing this- I don't feel as alone knowing that someone else is thinking similar things.
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