Oh

So that's where you've been. Welcome back good news. Welcome back.

Finally

I'm doing it! Woot!

Hey 19

I was supposed to meet you on April 23rd but you were late. I was so anxious and excited to finally meet you, learn your name and get to know you as a person. But you weren't quite ready for the trip.

April 25th, my doctor sent me to the hospital and told me that you were on your way. Many, many, many hours later you decided to make an appearance. 44 and 1/2 hours later to be precise.

Imagine my surprise to learn you were not who we were expecting. All along, we had been preparing for a girl. The nurse told us that, the doctor told us that and your heartbeat told us that. You showed us all that the best things in life are sometime the least expected!

After all, I didn't even know you were to be until you were 18 1/2 weeks along. Again, imagine my surprise!

You see, I had begun to doubt ever having another surprise. I had lost your brother only a year before this and another sibling earlier that year. I think you kept yourself hidden for so long to keep me from worry.

Your name came from a frantic trip to a bookstore on your due date. I had decided, much to your father's chagrin that the name we had picked for a son wasn't the right name. So, off to the bookstore at the mall to pick another name. I know this sounds like there wasn't a lot of thought put into picking your name but that is not the case. Your middle name comes from two of the finest men I have ever had the privilege to know and to call grandpa. Your dad and I both loved our grandpa's and wanted you to carry that love with you. Your first name is a name of greatness. It is Greek in origin and means man's defender, warrior. You my son, are living up to that name. Anyone that knows you or has taken the time to get to know you understands what a warrior and defender of men you are.

I can still see my grandma's face when she first saw you in the airport. She was so excited and proud and in awe of you. She loved you from the moment she knew you.

As for your grandma, my mom... I will never forget the look on her face when she first saw you. All she could say was how beautiful you were. My mom loved being a mom but she is truly in her element being a grandma. You have been such a gift for her life. And the biggest part of that is the hope you brought to her. Hope that her life could once again be happy. Hope in watching you grow and learn and love. You are the best gift I could ever have given her.

I'm so glad we finally got to meet 19 years ago today. You have changed my life in more ways than you will ever know, well at least until you become a dad.

I love you son!

Frat

I want to remember last night so I'm going to write about it...

Deadwood was asked to play for a frat party... something about a Don Ho celebration. We laughed and talked about how starting to play at 10:30pm was going to test our endurance. I took a nap so that I would be wide awake and ready to sing my heart out late into the night, or early into the morning as it happened to be...

It was raining, pouring actually when my husband dropped me off at the frat house. Luckily, I have overcome my fear of going places alone and trying to find people I know when I arrive at the designated spot. Actually, this is a fear I forced myself to work through in college. Long before I knew what cognitive therapy was I was engaging in my own private practice with myself as my client.

Anyway, upon arrival, I found 2 of my bandmates and they showed me where we would be performing. Entering the house was like stepping back in time. The noise, the smells, the mess, the energy, the bodies... none of it had changed.

We had to wait for the band playing before us to wrap up their set. While we waited I spoke with some of the most polite young men I've met in a long time. Two of them were sober working. I didn't know what that meant and they explained that they stayed sober so their friends could get drunk and not have to worry about the cops, noise, or being safe. It was their job to worry and control the crowd.

One young man, Kevin let me use the bathroom in his room when he found out that the bathroom in the commons was beyond use. Kevin, your kindness will not be forgotten!

Once we started our set, the real fun began. The crowd loved us! They danced, cheered, sang along, encouraged, smiled and had such a great time! We played and played and played into the wee hours of the morning.

And today, I fully understand why going to frat parties is best done when you are in your late teens/early twenties. Ü

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

click the link... it's worth it i promise

No Payment, Kiss or Even a Thank You

Ever heard that saying... nothing like getting screwed and not getting kissed, thanked or paid.

I know what that feels like and I am beyond done. You can screw with me but not my family.

Especially not my family.

Poetry Month

In honor of National Poetry Month....

Mother to Son
Langston Hughes

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor -
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So, boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps.
'Cause you find it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now -
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

Far Away

It's days like these that I so miss living near family. Sick kids, work stress and no one to help.

Wordless

http://65redroses.livejournal.com

I am an organ donor. Are you?

Truth or Myth?

Oh My

Today has been such a good day.

I felt physically good for the first time in a long time.

School was good.

Got to hang with my family.

Rehearsal went well.

Practice was great.

I'm tired but it's a good tired. Tired from doing things I love.

Up at 6, Down at 11

I figure I spend less than 1/2 my awake time at work each day. Yet, I allow work to occupy much more of my thought time and emotional energy than that.

I have never been someone that wanted a job that defines me. I'd like to think that I am much more than that.

After being on break for a week, I see that I am allowing myself to be defined by my work. And it's going to stop.

I love what I do. I worked hard to further my education. I believe passionately in what I do. Yet, it is not all that I do. It is not all that I am passionate about.

So, tomorrow, I'm not going to complain about being back at school. I had a lovely break and I'm glad I got some me time. What happens, happens.

Choices

How the hell did I end up living in a town where Wal-Mart is the place to shop?

Rose in a Fisted Glove

Am I living a life that I love?

I ask myself this question all the time. Today, my answer is yes.

Rhymes with Cup-O-Tea

My very own Clapotis. I LOVE IT!

Love Is All You Need

Because really, what else matters?

http://65redroses.livejournal.com/

My Way

I'm having a Veruca Salt moment. I want my way and I want it now.

No, Really, Excuse Me

If you need me to move cart out of the way in Hy-Vee, a simple clearing of the throat or an "excuse me" would suffice. Ramming your cart into my cart until my cart went soaring down the aisle was a little over the top. And then when I apologize for being in your way - I'm still not sure what I apologized for, you verbally assaulted me.

And here's what I have to say to you....

You must really be in a lot of pain and turmoil to treat a complete stranger that way. I am so sorry to have been another added frustration to your day. And...screw you. No really, screw you.

OK

My oldest was in a wreck today.

He's ok.

His car, not so ok.

But, he's ok.

And that is all that matters.

Imagine

I can only imagine what it will be like. When we start loving each other - with no thought to who you belong to - who you are.

It's so easy to shoot holes in the dreams of dreamers. And I challenge those with the guns... what are you dreaming of? What are you working for?

When did you last hold a baby? When did you last stop and listen to what you are hearing?

I'm not the only one...

Surrounded

Sometimes, I realize I have surrounded myself with people I love.

My Famous Love

Growing up I was sure I was going to be famous. I envisioned myself as either a star of the stage or music scene. I worked toward my goals by taking dance, acting, voice and piano lessons. I auditioned for numerous plays (and got a lot of parts), played in different bands and worked hard on perfecting my "craft".

When I met my husband, my biological clock started clicking so loudly, it totally derailed my vision of my future. I abandoned my dreams of super stardom and set my sights on having a family with this man.

I really didn't have any idea how to make a family or marriage work. My own parents were divorced and while they were married they were very unhappy. My grandparents had had a happy marriage but having viewed this relationship as a child, I wasn't sure I had made things look better than they actually were.

Twenty years later, this man and I are married. Still. My marriage has lasted longer than my parents marriage by 4 years. We have three wonderful sons that were very much wished for, and hoped for and prayed for. Our marriage has gone through some very difficult times ~ try raising three sons while your husband works full time, goes to college full time all while you work full time. But mostly, our marriage has been full of wonderful times.

Tonight, when I sat down to write about my upcoming anniversary, I realized that I am famous. I might not be a famous actress or rock star, but I am famous. I am loved, adored and appreciated by my husband 0f 20 years and our three beautiful sons. And that, that, is better than any fame I could have imagined for myself all those years ago.

Every Day

Writers write every day.

I guess I'm not a writer.

What Do You Say?

What do you say when a friend shares what is going on in their life? What do you say?

I know what to say (I know surprise surprise) when it is a happy topic. I'm good with happy. I'm even ok with some kind of problem solving/plan making.

But when a friend tells you their life is falling apart, and I mean a-p-a-r-t, what do you say?

I have no words and I need some.

Letters

The first letter I would like to write is to the bankers that are upset that the public/taxpayers want their money back.

Dear Cheaterpants:

I won't pretend to understand what you've done that makes you deserving of a $700,000 bonus. You see, I'm only a teacher and therefore not smart enough to understand what a great risk you've taken this past year making money for your bank. I don't understand how you used my money, my friend's money and my mom's money to make more money. And now, you are going to get a bonus for making all that money WITH MY MONEY - and your bonus is more money than I will ever make teaching kids to read.

What I am smart enough to understand is that you used my money and now, you don't want to pay me back. You instead want to pay yourself more money - which is really my money and my friend's money and my mom's money.

So, shut your face and stop whining about being a big risk taker and deserving of that money. The only thing you really deserve is a time out for being a cheater.

Sincerely, Rebecca

Make It Up

After 2 snow days, I feel rested and ready to go back to school.

Go ahead and tell me (again) how we have to make those days up.

I. Don't. Care.

Ahhh

Snow day. Now that's what I'm talking about.

Getting Off the Camel

Sometimes, I'm blessed to hear something that speaks so deeply to me - makes me think about my life, where I'm going, where I've come from.

Getting off the camel has a new meaning for me. The Wise Men got off their camels to worship and offer gifts to the newborn King. They then rejoiced with exceeding great joy! Great joy!

Knowing what I know about camels, the Wise Men were probably very relieved just to get off the camel. Camels are smelly, very stubborn and are not especially "nice" animals. Yet they've been used as transportation for many many years. They simply get people to where they need to be. Did the Wise Men enjoy the journey? Was their great joy in simply getting off the camel? Now, I believe it was a little of enjoying the journey and getting off the camel and a lot of rejoicing the newborn King.

I can look at things with exceeding great joy when I choose to enjoy the ride and the journey. I have many camels in my life right now. Some of my choosing, some not. Can I get rid of the camels that are not my choice? That's what I'm going to work through.

I don't like to do resolutions for a new year. Instead, I like to think of things I will change to enrich my life. Looking for camels, and getting off them when I can is something I am going to do this year. And those camels that are necessary... I will use them with exceeding great joy!

Popular

This post is not going to win me any popular votes.

This Christmas was .... in so many different ways. It saddens me to think that a time in my life has passed, never to be recaptured. I guess, if I were an optimist, I would be excited at all the new opportunities and things I can look forward to. But I'm not.

My youngest sister was unable to come home for Christmas. For many different reasons, some real and some imagined, her family stayed put. Now that the big day is over, I'm thinking she was probably the smart one for making this choice.

My other sister and I both went "home" to my mom's house. Excited to see my niece and nephews, off we went... Christmas Eve was fun... ask me sometime about the service I attended with my brother-in-law and sister...

Later that night however, I began to feel small and continue to feel this way. As I watched my sister unpack her children's Santa presents, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable. Sean and I made a decision that this was the year we WERE NOT going to go overboard. We WERE NOT going to buy buy buy just so our kids would get SO MANY PRESENTS THEY WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST CHILDREN ON THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, this year, we were very selective and gave them one big thing and a few small things that were well thought out and intentional.

Let's just say that my nephews and niece were THE HAPPIEST CHILDREN ON THE PLANET Christmas morning... at least for a few minutes. And my boys, well, judging by the looks on their faces, they were not among that happy group.

I could write about how our choice was the better one - our choice is helping them grow into appreciative, conscientious men. They don't need a lot of stuff. They won't play with a lot of stuff.

But, I still can't shake that "I'm small" feeling: I'm not as good of a mother/parent - I've made poor choices and that's why I can't afford to buy out the store for my kids - My kids deserve all that stuff too...

Next year, we're staying home.

In a Whisper...

i think i'm done... i think

Bliss & Cheers!

Christmas 09 013
Originally uploaded by murphymomx3

I am really ready for this break. I need time to re-charge and have some quiet time...

I started and finished a sweater yesterday... I think these might be my new favorite things to make! I wonder how many I can finish by Christmas morning?

Hey

Christmas presents bought: 5
Cookies baked: 9 dozen
Church members I would like to punt down the street: unknown at this time

If you don't like something or someone, unless they are doing harm, shut up.

Just shut up.

Hidden Agenda

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Seriously.

home

i'm home where it's warm and cozy. home with my boys. home with my dog who would be all alone if we had traveled. home with all the delicious smells. home with the anticipation of what's yet to come.

Fever

I asked Sean to buy a thermometer yesterday. We haven't had one for, oh, 6 years.

The verdict... 101. And that is with medicine.

If

you didn't show up somewhere, I would call you. I would call you just to make sure you were ok.

Mean people suck.

Don't Tell ME What I Want

I'll tell you what I want!

Wow

In the past 3 days, I have been shocked to read some really rude comments on facebook. Either people have a lot of nerve, or they are more stupid than they appear in real life.

Books

I love to read. I really love to re-read favorite books. Right now, I'm reading, again, the Mitford books. I find myself reaching for these books when my life is going too fast, when I need a quiet, comforting retreat. These books help me take a step back and look at what's important and what isn't.

Do you have books you love? Do you have books you re-read?

Only One

I oftentimes forget that I only get to do this once. When I do remember, I become much more selective of how I spend my time, and with whom.

Mostly, I don't remember.

So Frustrated

Are the problem and the solution mutually exclusive? What happened to process? What happened to growing? Is there anysuchthing as a different perspective? Different point of view?

ugh.

Being a grown up doesn't mean you don't get your feelings hurt.

Bad Habit

Gotta break the bad habit of making easy things difficult.

Act Two

Blocked! Now to work on dance numbers & costumes & lighting & sound & publicity & sound cues & .....

Act One

75% blocked! Woot!

New Project

Tonight is the first rehearsal for "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown". I had super talented people audition which made casting the show a breeze! I pray the rest of the process is as easy.

I am so fortunate that I get to spend my days and evenings doing things I so enjoy.

I am so very blessed.

Stitches

We had a great time up north on our vacation.

Started out in Iowa City for the 100 Year Party and a tennis tournament. It was fun getting together with old friends and celebrating the passage of time with them!

The tournament went well. We loved Iowa City and plan to go back.

On to Chicago where we met up with Aidan who had already been there for 2 weeks! He had a great time visiting with his cousins, going to Great America, Lake Michigan and just hanging out. It seemed like he had grown 6 inches while he was gone.

My nephews and niece are always such fun. This particular visit, my youngest nephew Reid(age 3) was into watching "Mama Mia". Lover of musical theater that I am, I joined right in. After about the 5th viewing, I was fading... He is so cute! Knows all the songs, some of the lines and is perfecting his dance moves.

We then headed up to Milwaukee for a visit with my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jeff. We had a nice time and they served us a delicious lunch!

Then into Milwaukee for a 2 day visit with my dad and his wife. One of the highlights of the trip was getting my grandmother's ring from my dad. On my last visit with her, my grandmother said I could have "her ring". Unfortunately during that visit, my grandmother passed away while out shopping with me. My Aunt Noel took the ring at that time promising me I would get it back. Years have passed and I figured the ring was no more.

Right before we left on our trip, my dad called and told me my aunt had mailed him the ring. I couldn't wait to get to his house to see it! It is even more beautiful than I remembered.

Except for a trip to the emergency room for stitches, it was a great trip and perfect way to end the summer.

Away

And we're off... more next week!

Pray without Ceasing

Please pray for Stellan. He's very ill right now and fighting for his life. His story is here...

http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

And that's the ball game

Time marches on whether we want it to or not.

Sometimes

dreams do come true.

Yesterday we spent the day in Pella, IA at a tennis tournament. Ethan asked if he could try competing in a tournament even though he's only been playing a few months.

He played well in his first match holding his serve and keeping score. In these tournament, the players call the balls in or out and keep track of their score. It's a lot to think about and he did a great job for his first time!

After finishing this match at 8:50AM, we began the wait for him to play in the consolation round. We waited and waited and waited and watched some other Kirksville kids play their matches and waited some more! Finally at 4:50PM (ARGH!!) he was told to go to a different park where there was an open court.

Half way through the second set, Ethan calmly asked his opponent if he was going to keep cheating and call in balls out? The kid said what and Ethan repeated his question and told him if he was going to keep cheating, he was finished playing him because he doesn't play cheaters. OMG I almost died listening to this! Ethan then walked over and began to pack up his bag when a tournament official asked what was happening. He told her what he had just told his opponent and she said she would not call the balls but would monitor their court. Ethan went on to win 2 more games during that set.

I am so proud of him. He confronted the problem head on and took care of business!

Summer

If one more person tells me I should be grateful I had a summer school job I might smack them. Seriously.

I'm 46 years old. I know quite a bit about being grateful. You don't live in my head so don't try and tell me how I should be feeling. Don't.

ahem.

I've got lots of things cooking for the rest of my summer. I'm excited about them and as of right now, the nastiness is over. Just don't tell me I should be grateful....

Much better. Much, much better.

Wrong Direction

Things continue to get harder not easier. I continue to worry myself beyond what is healthy. I am praying that this is just a low spot and things will look up in 5 minutes.

Blues

I had such a wonderful time last night! Deadwood sounded great, the weather was perfect and good friends came to visit. What a great way to end the week!

Illegitimi non carborundum

I Really Didn't

I thought I would, but I didn't. I didn't cry at graduation.

Except, I did cry but it wasn't for me of for my son. I cried when a boy that was supposed to die while still in middle school received his diploma. And I cried when another name was called, and the child wasn't there to receive her diploma.

But for Alex, I didn't cry.

If I make it out of here alive it will be miracle.

Cram

I am exhausted from all the field trips, paperwork, picnics, student melt-downs, ball games, loads of laundry. I don't think we can cram much more in these last few days!

There is a ticker on my school's website counting down the days to graduation. My stomach does a funny little flip everytime I look at that counter. Part of me is so relieved to be free of worrying about my oldest son's grades, assignments, etc. Another part of me understands that those worries are shifting into a whole new phase that involves major life decisions, etc.

I have worked hard this year to worry less and laugh more... remember my resolution(promise). I truly believe that, for me, worry is sinful and something that separates me from my true purpose. It robs me of my joy and keeps me focused on things that I cannot control instead of things that I can change for the better.

So, as I enter the last few hours of parenting a son that is entering a new phase in his life, I am making a promise to myself to enjoy my time with him this week. My baby is almost ready to fly.

The wind began to switch -

the house to pitch and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch.

What a wild wild night! Four tornados came through Kirskville and Novinger. Lots of damage to homes and a car dealership.

As a mom, my biggest fear was not having my family all in one spot. Alex was at home and went into the tornado room. Even though he's 18, he's still my baby!

My Reasons for the Day

Another Milestone

Calling In

I'm thinking about calling in crazy.

I wonder if they would get me a sub.

Prom 2009

I asked Alex what he wanted for his birthday and he said fried okra. Fried okra.

God I love that kid.

State

I am so proud of Alex. He did such a fantastic job today at State Drama contest. He and his girl Holland came in 8 out of 28.

The first show Alex was in was "The Wizard of Oz". Mrs. Clark was directing this show during the summer to raise money for her high school drama class. Alex was a Munchkin and was featured in "The Lollipop Guild". He loved being a part of this show and I could tell then and there that he was hooked.

Denise and I directed several summer shows together and Alex was a part of these shows including: Into the Woods, Grease, Pippin, Guys & Dolls and Once Upon a Matress.

His freshman year in high school, Alex was cast as LeFou in Beauty and the Beast. What a joy to see him in his first high school production. That winter, I directed Godspell and Alex was also in that cast. He grew a lot his freshman year, working on staying in character. He was cast as Trevor Graydon in Thoroughly Modern Millie his sophmore year. Junior year was Pat Gilbert in State Fair. His senior year the school did Annie Get Your Gun. Alex was Frank Butler to his girl's Annie Oakley. They has great chemistry on stage and I know they has such a good time doing the show together.

Getting to see him perform today was such a joy. The piece Funeral Parlor is so smart and they were fabulous in their roles. It is such an honor to advance to the state level and not only did they finish well, they beat their competition from Districts!

Alex not only did you "break a leg" today, but you gave me many great memories to cherish!

What a Day

My head is still spinning.

Blackout

What a run! For the past two months, I have been surrounded by the most talented, creative people. It was such a treat to be an integral part of this production.

Wonder what we will do next?

Hurt

I am hurt. I am trying not to be, but I am. I am trying so hard to believe I don't care, but I do.

Break a Leg

Jekyll & Hyde goes up tomorrow. The show is fantastic and I've had so much fun helping put it all together.

40:31

and those who wait on the Lord
shall renew their strength
they shall lift their wings
and mount up as eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

Pics

Ethan at his baptism. I am so very proud of him!


Alex and Holland (on the far right) waiting to hear they are going to state for their humorous duet "Funeral Parlor".

Big Weekend

Alex received a I rating on his vocal solo at district contest. This has been a long time coming. He's worked so hard to get where he is at and to say I am proud, isn't enough.....

Ethan is home from the Pastor Class. He's made the decision to be baptised on Palm Sunday. To say I am proud doesn't even begin to explain my feelings....

Our gig went well tonight. Lots of people I invited came and that's always a plus! I am still so grateful for the chance to do something that I love to do.

Confrontation

I cried at rehearsal tonight. Confrontation was simply amazing.

Shoes

Sometimes, when you ask, amazing things will happen.

If

you don't really want to know what I think, don't ask.

Knowing Myself

I know what I like and what I don't.
I know who I like and who I don't.
I know who I want to spend time with and who I don't.

It's ok to leave a situation that isn't working. It's ok. It's taken me a long time to fully understand this.

I am no longer trapped by my circumstances and God, is that freeing!

Had By All

This past week was wonderful in so many different ways.

The high points were: seeing family in Chicago, new haircut, new shoes, sleeping until I woke up instead of woken up, time with my family, going to state ...YES!

Embrace

I got my hair cut yesterday. I love it. The girl that cut my hair is from Minnesota. She's charming, easy to talk to and does not cut my hair in a straight line. Anyone that has curly hair will understand how much this thrills me.

Moving back to the midwest was a decision my husband and I made on the fly. Our oldest son was a newborn and we needed to live somewhere we could be safe and have a better quality of life. Living in a place with many things to offer is not fun when you can't afford to do any of those things.

Living in this town with not many things to do has not been easy. My husband especially misses his old town with its mountains, streams and views. I miss the people, especially the hippies and the natives. But we have made this work. We have found things to do and met many great people.

And now that I have found someone that doesn't cut in straight lines, I love it all the more.

Tea for Four

Just back from a quick trip to Chicago. Audrey turned 5 and invited me to have tea with her at the American Girl Place. I was more than happy to oblige.

It was fun being in the city again. Helps me remember that there is a great big world out there and I am just a tiny speck.

I also did a little shopping. There's nothing like new shoes, new jeans, new bras and some tea to help you get your mojo back.

Say

Say what you mean.

Mean what you say.

A New Day

I have a lot of laundry to do before I leave for Chicago. And there is that pesky little detail about what am I driving to Chicago.....

I'm looking forward to seeing my family and the city.

Hate is easy. Love takes courage.

What a Great Weekend

I had such a great weekend. I didn't do anything special except hang with my family, watch some great movies and knit. Grace in small things has truly changed my way of looking at life. I have a tendency to be down and negative (at least that's what I am in my head). I really want to not be that way and enjoy/fully particpate in every second I am blessed to have. I know that there will be hard times but again, I want to be in the moment and not be looking ahead all the time.

Busy busy busy

I'm busy. I'm so busy I am feeling overwhelmed. I am thrilled to be working on the projects I have been handed. But... whew... I am busy.

I am knitting a fun scarf right now. It's only about 1/4 finished and I'm super excited to get a chance to use it before it's too warm.

I'm also working on a vest for Sean and a scarf for Alex.

I'm looking forward to spring break. We have a trip planned to Chicago. I get to have tea with Audrey at the American Girl store in Water Tower place. As the mom of 3 boys, this will be a one-of-a-kind experience for me. Ü

28

Earlier today I felt so defeated. Just lots of little things adding up to a big ugh. But. But!

1. music - new music that i'm helping people learn
2. ash wednesday - taking time to reflect on my beliefs
3. listening to my son sing at choir practice
4. sean bringing me supper when i didn't ask him to
5. coming home to a house full of the people that i love

27

Today I am grateful for:

water - how blessed I am I can turn on my tap and get cool or warm clean, fresh water

safety - my home is safe and secure - there are many people that cannot say the same

my job - it's so easy to complain but i am grateful i have a job. many right now would do anything to have a job

freedom - freedom to say what i think, have the job that i want, live where i want and worship where i want

happiness - for a long time, this was not true and tonight, i can say that happiness is mine

20+6

new challenges

upcoming breaks

plans to visit family

snooze button

asparagus

25

I think I'm depressed. I get so down on Sunday afternoons. I know it's because I am dreading going back to school. I do like my job but lately, it has been a j. o. b. It takes a lot of energy to be around some people and even more energy to try and be positive.

I guess I'm not depressed, just having a crisis of purpose.

I enjoy teaching. I feel fulfilled when kids have aha moments and especially when we see progress in their skills. I work with kids that need special help and I know I'm good at figuring out what to do for them.

But.....

1. weekends that are full of good times
2. my husband who i love more today than i did the day we married... & i didn't think that was possible
3. my oldest
4. my middle
5. my youngest

Grace in small things has changed my perspective on so many many things.

24

I'm having such a good weekend. The Blues Show last night was SO MUCH FUN! I am so so so fortunate to have this oportunity. I am blessed.

1. deadwood - love singing and being a part of this group

2. saturdays with nothing to do except dinner with good friends

3. my flannel pajamas my sister gave me for christmas

4. talking to my youngest nephew on the phone

5. being with my people today and enjoying their company

Still Friday in LA

Deadwood played tonight and what a GREAT TIME I had! I LOVE to perform!

1. singing with such talented musicians
2. singingwith my friends
3. huge snowflakes that are so beautiful in the night sky
4. my husband that comes to get me at midnight
5. alex that came to hear me sing

23

my grace in small things will be short tonight... i'm grateful that i woke up this morning and i'm grateful that today is over and i can go to bed

that is all

Twenty-two

being home is a BIG grace
fresh salad is a BIG grace
my bed waiting for me
my dog happy to see me
a funeral visitation to celebrate a life well lived

21

baby powder
coffee that's just finished brewing
oranges
boys laughing
family on facebook

I have a gig at the end of this week. I have practice tonight and hope I have all the lyrics down. I'm excited thinking about singing tonight and this weekend.

20

I was groovin' so hard on my day off... well you know.

1. boys - i love boys. i love living with boys and hanging with boys.

2. a hot shower. nothing more refreshing

3. a day in which to do whatever i want. and i did.

4. new music

5. birds in my trees in my backyard

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Oh My Gawd - living with a 13 year old is KILLING ME! There is wailing and gnashing of teeth!!!

ACKCKCKCKCKCKCK!

Ahem. My grace in small things for today is...

* my darling husband taking the boys to the store so I can have 10 minutes of alone time
* roses
* sunny days
* no school mondays
* knowing i can stay up late tonight and sleep in tomorrow Ü

18

*coffee in bed
*lazy days
*wedding receptions
*seeing old friends
*celebrating love

Grace 18

long weekends... can I get an AMEN!
fires in my fireplace
comfy lounge pants
chai tea
my family at home with me

17

* my dog mori
* thursday nights at home
* tulips
* anticipation of the weekend
* new toys