Popular

This post is not going to win me any popular votes.

This Christmas was .... in so many different ways. It saddens me to think that a time in my life has passed, never to be recaptured. I guess, if I were an optimist, I would be excited at all the new opportunities and things I can look forward to. But I'm not.

My youngest sister was unable to come home for Christmas. For many different reasons, some real and some imagined, her family stayed put. Now that the big day is over, I'm thinking she was probably the smart one for making this choice.

My other sister and I both went "home" to my mom's house. Excited to see my niece and nephews, off we went... Christmas Eve was fun... ask me sometime about the service I attended with my brother-in-law and sister...

Later that night however, I began to feel small and continue to feel this way. As I watched my sister unpack her children's Santa presents, I started to feel more and more uncomfortable. Sean and I made a decision that this was the year we WERE NOT going to go overboard. We WERE NOT going to buy buy buy just so our kids would get SO MANY PRESENTS THEY WOULD BE THE HAPPIEST CHILDREN ON THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, this year, we were very selective and gave them one big thing and a few small things that were well thought out and intentional.

Let's just say that my nephews and niece were THE HAPPIEST CHILDREN ON THE PLANET Christmas morning... at least for a few minutes. And my boys, well, judging by the looks on their faces, they were not among that happy group.

I could write about how our choice was the better one - our choice is helping them grow into appreciative, conscientious men. They don't need a lot of stuff. They won't play with a lot of stuff.

But, I still can't shake that "I'm small" feeling: I'm not as good of a mother/parent - I've made poor choices and that's why I can't afford to buy out the store for my kids - My kids deserve all that stuff too...

Next year, we're staying home.

In a Whisper...

i think i'm done... i think

Bliss & Cheers!

Christmas 09 013
Originally uploaded by murphymomx3

I am really ready for this break. I need time to re-charge and have some quiet time...

I started and finished a sweater yesterday... I think these might be my new favorite things to make! I wonder how many I can finish by Christmas morning?

Hey

Christmas presents bought: 5
Cookies baked: 9 dozen
Church members I would like to punt down the street: unknown at this time

If you don't like something or someone, unless they are doing harm, shut up.

Just shut up.

Hidden Agenda

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Seriously.

home

i'm home where it's warm and cozy. home with my boys. home with my dog who would be all alone if we had traveled. home with all the delicious smells. home with the anticipation of what's yet to come.

Fever

I asked Sean to buy a thermometer yesterday. We haven't had one for, oh, 6 years.

The verdict... 101. And that is with medicine.

If

you didn't show up somewhere, I would call you. I would call you just to make sure you were ok.

Mean people suck.

Don't Tell ME What I Want

I'll tell you what I want!

Wow

In the past 3 days, I have been shocked to read some really rude comments on facebook. Either people have a lot of nerve, or they are more stupid than they appear in real life.

Books

I love to read. I really love to re-read favorite books. Right now, I'm reading, again, the Mitford books. I find myself reaching for these books when my life is going too fast, when I need a quiet, comforting retreat. These books help me take a step back and look at what's important and what isn't.

Do you have books you love? Do you have books you re-read?

Only One

I oftentimes forget that I only get to do this once. When I do remember, I become much more selective of how I spend my time, and with whom.

Mostly, I don't remember.

So Frustrated

Are the problem and the solution mutually exclusive? What happened to process? What happened to growing? Is there anysuchthing as a different perspective? Different point of view?

ugh.

Being a grown up doesn't mean you don't get your feelings hurt.

Bad Habit

Gotta break the bad habit of making easy things difficult.

Act Two

Blocked! Now to work on dance numbers & costumes & lighting & sound & publicity & sound cues & .....

Act One

75% blocked! Woot!

New Project

Tonight is the first rehearsal for "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown". I had super talented people audition which made casting the show a breeze! I pray the rest of the process is as easy.

I am so fortunate that I get to spend my days and evenings doing things I so enjoy.

I am so very blessed.

Stitches

We had a great time up north on our vacation.

Started out in Iowa City for the 100 Year Party and a tennis tournament. It was fun getting together with old friends and celebrating the passage of time with them!

The tournament went well. We loved Iowa City and plan to go back.

On to Chicago where we met up with Aidan who had already been there for 2 weeks! He had a great time visiting with his cousins, going to Great America, Lake Michigan and just hanging out. It seemed like he had grown 6 inches while he was gone.

My nephews and niece are always such fun. This particular visit, my youngest nephew Reid(age 3) was into watching "Mama Mia". Lover of musical theater that I am, I joined right in. After about the 5th viewing, I was fading... He is so cute! Knows all the songs, some of the lines and is perfecting his dance moves.

We then headed up to Milwaukee for a visit with my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jeff. We had a nice time and they served us a delicious lunch!

Then into Milwaukee for a 2 day visit with my dad and his wife. One of the highlights of the trip was getting my grandmother's ring from my dad. On my last visit with her, my grandmother said I could have "her ring". Unfortunately during that visit, my grandmother passed away while out shopping with me. My Aunt Noel took the ring at that time promising me I would get it back. Years have passed and I figured the ring was no more.

Right before we left on our trip, my dad called and told me my aunt had mailed him the ring. I couldn't wait to get to his house to see it! It is even more beautiful than I remembered.

Except for a trip to the emergency room for stitches, it was a great trip and perfect way to end the summer.

Away

And we're off... more next week!

Pray without Ceasing

Please pray for Stellan. He's very ill right now and fighting for his life. His story is here...

http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

And that's the ball game

Time marches on whether we want it to or not.

Sometimes

dreams do come true.

Yesterday we spent the day in Pella, IA at a tennis tournament. Ethan asked if he could try competing in a tournament even though he's only been playing a few months.

He played well in his first match holding his serve and keeping score. In these tournament, the players call the balls in or out and keep track of their score. It's a lot to think about and he did a great job for his first time!

After finishing this match at 8:50AM, we began the wait for him to play in the consolation round. We waited and waited and waited and watched some other Kirksville kids play their matches and waited some more! Finally at 4:50PM (ARGH!!) he was told to go to a different park where there was an open court.

Half way through the second set, Ethan calmly asked his opponent if he was going to keep cheating and call in balls out? The kid said what and Ethan repeated his question and told him if he was going to keep cheating, he was finished playing him because he doesn't play cheaters. OMG I almost died listening to this! Ethan then walked over and began to pack up his bag when a tournament official asked what was happening. He told her what he had just told his opponent and she said she would not call the balls but would monitor their court. Ethan went on to win 2 more games during that set.

I am so proud of him. He confronted the problem head on and took care of business!

Summer

If one more person tells me I should be grateful I had a summer school job I might smack them. Seriously.

I'm 46 years old. I know quite a bit about being grateful. You don't live in my head so don't try and tell me how I should be feeling. Don't.

ahem.

I've got lots of things cooking for the rest of my summer. I'm excited about them and as of right now, the nastiness is over. Just don't tell me I should be grateful....

Much better. Much, much better.

Wrong Direction

Things continue to get harder not easier. I continue to worry myself beyond what is healthy. I am praying that this is just a low spot and things will look up in 5 minutes.

Blues

I had such a wonderful time last night! Deadwood sounded great, the weather was perfect and good friends came to visit. What a great way to end the week!

Illegitimi non carborundum

I Really Didn't

I thought I would, but I didn't. I didn't cry at graduation.

Except, I did cry but it wasn't for me of for my son. I cried when a boy that was supposed to die while still in middle school received his diploma. And I cried when another name was called, and the child wasn't there to receive her diploma.

But for Alex, I didn't cry.

If I make it out of here alive it will be miracle.

Cram

I am exhausted from all the field trips, paperwork, picnics, student melt-downs, ball games, loads of laundry. I don't think we can cram much more in these last few days!

There is a ticker on my school's website counting down the days to graduation. My stomach does a funny little flip everytime I look at that counter. Part of me is so relieved to be free of worrying about my oldest son's grades, assignments, etc. Another part of me understands that those worries are shifting into a whole new phase that involves major life decisions, etc.

I have worked hard this year to worry less and laugh more... remember my resolution(promise). I truly believe that, for me, worry is sinful and something that separates me from my true purpose. It robs me of my joy and keeps me focused on things that I cannot control instead of things that I can change for the better.

So, as I enter the last few hours of parenting a son that is entering a new phase in his life, I am making a promise to myself to enjoy my time with him this week. My baby is almost ready to fly.

The wind began to switch -

the house to pitch and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch.

What a wild wild night! Four tornados came through Kirskville and Novinger. Lots of damage to homes and a car dealership.

As a mom, my biggest fear was not having my family all in one spot. Alex was at home and went into the tornado room. Even though he's 18, he's still my baby!

My Reasons for the Day

Another Milestone

Calling In

I'm thinking about calling in crazy.

I wonder if they would get me a sub.

Prom 2009

I asked Alex what he wanted for his birthday and he said fried okra. Fried okra.

God I love that kid.

State

I am so proud of Alex. He did such a fantastic job today at State Drama contest. He and his girl Holland came in 8 out of 28.

The first show Alex was in was "The Wizard of Oz". Mrs. Clark was directing this show during the summer to raise money for her high school drama class. Alex was a Munchkin and was featured in "The Lollipop Guild". He loved being a part of this show and I could tell then and there that he was hooked.

Denise and I directed several summer shows together and Alex was a part of these shows including: Into the Woods, Grease, Pippin, Guys & Dolls and Once Upon a Matress.

His freshman year in high school, Alex was cast as LeFou in Beauty and the Beast. What a joy to see him in his first high school production. That winter, I directed Godspell and Alex was also in that cast. He grew a lot his freshman year, working on staying in character. He was cast as Trevor Graydon in Thoroughly Modern Millie his sophmore year. Junior year was Pat Gilbert in State Fair. His senior year the school did Annie Get Your Gun. Alex was Frank Butler to his girl's Annie Oakley. They has great chemistry on stage and I know they has such a good time doing the show together.

Getting to see him perform today was such a joy. The piece Funeral Parlor is so smart and they were fabulous in their roles. It is such an honor to advance to the state level and not only did they finish well, they beat their competition from Districts!

Alex not only did you "break a leg" today, but you gave me many great memories to cherish!

What a Day

My head is still spinning.

Blackout

What a run! For the past two months, I have been surrounded by the most talented, creative people. It was such a treat to be an integral part of this production.

Wonder what we will do next?

Hurt

I am hurt. I am trying not to be, but I am. I am trying so hard to believe I don't care, but I do.

Break a Leg

Jekyll & Hyde goes up tomorrow. The show is fantastic and I've had so much fun helping put it all together.

40:31

and those who wait on the Lord
shall renew their strength
they shall lift their wings
and mount up as eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

Pics

Ethan at his baptism. I am so very proud of him!


Alex and Holland (on the far right) waiting to hear they are going to state for their humorous duet "Funeral Parlor".

Big Weekend

Alex received a I rating on his vocal solo at district contest. This has been a long time coming. He's worked so hard to get where he is at and to say I am proud, isn't enough.....

Ethan is home from the Pastor Class. He's made the decision to be baptised on Palm Sunday. To say I am proud doesn't even begin to explain my feelings....

Our gig went well tonight. Lots of people I invited came and that's always a plus! I am still so grateful for the chance to do something that I love to do.

Confrontation

I cried at rehearsal tonight. Confrontation was simply amazing.

Shoes

Sometimes, when you ask, amazing things will happen.

If

you don't really want to know what I think, don't ask.

Knowing Myself

I know what I like and what I don't.
I know who I like and who I don't.
I know who I want to spend time with and who I don't.

It's ok to leave a situation that isn't working. It's ok. It's taken me a long time to fully understand this.

I am no longer trapped by my circumstances and God, is that freeing!

Had By All

This past week was wonderful in so many different ways.

The high points were: seeing family in Chicago, new haircut, new shoes, sleeping until I woke up instead of woken up, time with my family, going to state ...YES!

Embrace

I got my hair cut yesterday. I love it. The girl that cut my hair is from Minnesota. She's charming, easy to talk to and does not cut my hair in a straight line. Anyone that has curly hair will understand how much this thrills me.

Moving back to the midwest was a decision my husband and I made on the fly. Our oldest son was a newborn and we needed to live somewhere we could be safe and have a better quality of life. Living in a place with many things to offer is not fun when you can't afford to do any of those things.

Living in this town with not many things to do has not been easy. My husband especially misses his old town with its mountains, streams and views. I miss the people, especially the hippies and the natives. But we have made this work. We have found things to do and met many great people.

And now that I have found someone that doesn't cut in straight lines, I love it all the more.

Tea for Four

Just back from a quick trip to Chicago. Audrey turned 5 and invited me to have tea with her at the American Girl Place. I was more than happy to oblige.

It was fun being in the city again. Helps me remember that there is a great big world out there and I am just a tiny speck.

I also did a little shopping. There's nothing like new shoes, new jeans, new bras and some tea to help you get your mojo back.

Say

Say what you mean.

Mean what you say.

A New Day

I have a lot of laundry to do before I leave for Chicago. And there is that pesky little detail about what am I driving to Chicago.....

I'm looking forward to seeing my family and the city.

Hate is easy. Love takes courage.

What a Great Weekend

I had such a great weekend. I didn't do anything special except hang with my family, watch some great movies and knit. Grace in small things has truly changed my way of looking at life. I have a tendency to be down and negative (at least that's what I am in my head). I really want to not be that way and enjoy/fully particpate in every second I am blessed to have. I know that there will be hard times but again, I want to be in the moment and not be looking ahead all the time.

Busy busy busy

I'm busy. I'm so busy I am feeling overwhelmed. I am thrilled to be working on the projects I have been handed. But... whew... I am busy.

I am knitting a fun scarf right now. It's only about 1/4 finished and I'm super excited to get a chance to use it before it's too warm.

I'm also working on a vest for Sean and a scarf for Alex.

I'm looking forward to spring break. We have a trip planned to Chicago. I get to have tea with Audrey at the American Girl store in Water Tower place. As the mom of 3 boys, this will be a one-of-a-kind experience for me. Ü

28

Earlier today I felt so defeated. Just lots of little things adding up to a big ugh. But. But!

1. music - new music that i'm helping people learn
2. ash wednesday - taking time to reflect on my beliefs
3. listening to my son sing at choir practice
4. sean bringing me supper when i didn't ask him to
5. coming home to a house full of the people that i love

27

Today I am grateful for:

water - how blessed I am I can turn on my tap and get cool or warm clean, fresh water

safety - my home is safe and secure - there are many people that cannot say the same

my job - it's so easy to complain but i am grateful i have a job. many right now would do anything to have a job

freedom - freedom to say what i think, have the job that i want, live where i want and worship where i want

happiness - for a long time, this was not true and tonight, i can say that happiness is mine

20+6

new challenges

upcoming breaks

plans to visit family

snooze button

asparagus

25

I think I'm depressed. I get so down on Sunday afternoons. I know it's because I am dreading going back to school. I do like my job but lately, it has been a j. o. b. It takes a lot of energy to be around some people and even more energy to try and be positive.

I guess I'm not depressed, just having a crisis of purpose.

I enjoy teaching. I feel fulfilled when kids have aha moments and especially when we see progress in their skills. I work with kids that need special help and I know I'm good at figuring out what to do for them.

But.....

1. weekends that are full of good times
2. my husband who i love more today than i did the day we married... & i didn't think that was possible
3. my oldest
4. my middle
5. my youngest

Grace in small things has changed my perspective on so many many things.

24

I'm having such a good weekend. The Blues Show last night was SO MUCH FUN! I am so so so fortunate to have this oportunity. I am blessed.

1. deadwood - love singing and being a part of this group

2. saturdays with nothing to do except dinner with good friends

3. my flannel pajamas my sister gave me for christmas

4. talking to my youngest nephew on the phone

5. being with my people today and enjoying their company

Still Friday in LA

Deadwood played tonight and what a GREAT TIME I had! I LOVE to perform!

1. singing with such talented musicians
2. singingwith my friends
3. huge snowflakes that are so beautiful in the night sky
4. my husband that comes to get me at midnight
5. alex that came to hear me sing

23

my grace in small things will be short tonight... i'm grateful that i woke up this morning and i'm grateful that today is over and i can go to bed

that is all

Twenty-two

being home is a BIG grace
fresh salad is a BIG grace
my bed waiting for me
my dog happy to see me
a funeral visitation to celebrate a life well lived

21

baby powder
coffee that's just finished brewing
oranges
boys laughing
family on facebook

I have a gig at the end of this week. I have practice tonight and hope I have all the lyrics down. I'm excited thinking about singing tonight and this weekend.

20

I was groovin' so hard on my day off... well you know.

1. boys - i love boys. i love living with boys and hanging with boys.

2. a hot shower. nothing more refreshing

3. a day in which to do whatever i want. and i did.

4. new music

5. birds in my trees in my backyard

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Oh My Gawd - living with a 13 year old is KILLING ME! There is wailing and gnashing of teeth!!!

ACKCKCKCKCKCKCK!

Ahem. My grace in small things for today is...

* my darling husband taking the boys to the store so I can have 10 minutes of alone time
* roses
* sunny days
* no school mondays
* knowing i can stay up late tonight and sleep in tomorrow Ü

18

*coffee in bed
*lazy days
*wedding receptions
*seeing old friends
*celebrating love

Grace 18

long weekends... can I get an AMEN!
fires in my fireplace
comfy lounge pants
chai tea
my family at home with me

17

* my dog mori
* thursday nights at home
* tulips
* anticipation of the weekend
* new toys

16

My list will be about my church today. We've been going through some rocky times but things are looking up!
1. acceptance
2. courage to speak the truth
3. determination that the truth will be known
4. standing up for one's beliefs all the while knowing your opinion will not be popular
5. newfound respect for fellow believers

15

1. feeling better ... yeah!
2. my wonderful para
3. my students this year
4. reader's theater
5. childrens books

14

1. sick days
2. appliances that wash and dry things
3. warm weather in february
4. sprite
5. new projects

Eleven

1. my health -
2. knowing that there are only so many times i can get this stomach flu
3. 7up
4. blankets
5. nothing pressing to do so i can recover

10

My sister and her husband are coming to visit tomorrow. I haven't seen him since this past July when he was home on leave. We had a nice visit this summer and I anticipate the same tomorrow. My brother-in-law is just home from the war in Iraq, a war that I am strongly opposed to and I'm so glad he has come home.

When I first met my not-yet BIL, he was a goofy college kid. He was obviously smitten with my sister and agreed to come and meet her family. It was Christmas time and were all staying at my mom's house for the holiday. Back then, Sean & I were the only ones married with children.

Sean and I had a tradition of buying my grandma a bottle of nice whiskey for one of her Christmas presents. It was Christmas Eve and this bottle of whiskey was under the tree when BIL cracked it open to smell it. The room went quiet as he realized what he had done. Initially I thought I might have to smack him. He had just "ruined" my grandmas present in our minds. But, instead, I decided to laugh. This young man who was in a house with people he didn't know, nervous, trying to impress them had just committed a terrible faux pas. He looked at me with this goofy grin on his face and I knew then that he was going to be a great member of my family.

He is a wonderful uncle to my three boys. He was always wrestling with them and carrying them and being a general goof. He was also willing to change dirty diapers and feed them if needed.

When my youngest son was born, he was very ill and needed medical attention. We weren't sure if he was going to be ok for the first few hours or would need to be flown to a larger medical center. BIL drove from his base in Texas to Missouri only stopping for gas to come meet his newest nephew.

BIL has a job that requires him to do things I could never/would never do. He has fought in a war that I don't understand and perhaps because I am a mother, think is a terrible stupid waste of human life. BUT.... He doesn't have a job that he can quit when he gets told to do something that doesn't agree with him. He can't call in sick and not report for duty. He can't take a vacation day to get away from it all unless the government says it's ok. And even then, he can't go more than so many hours away from his post or another base incase he's needed.

My job is demanding. My job is stressful. But, no one at my work died last week. No one at my job lost their legs last week. I am not afraid for my life everytime I go to work. I am only gone for 8 hours at a time and dont' go months without seeing my husband and sons. And the last time I checked, my hearing was intact.

So, with all that in mind:
1. living in a country that lets you choose to be in the military - and I pray this continues....
2. the peace I have now that I can stand back and see both sides of difficult issues
3. not needing to be right all the time
4. BIL's
5. family coming to visit

Small Things

Doing the Grace in Small Things has changed how I sum up my days. This goes hand in hand with my resolution to laugh more worry less. The older I get, the more I realize that there is no do-over. This is it. Every minute counts. Grace in Small Things helps me stop and feel, stop and think, stop and give thanks.

1. puppy feet
2. boys - particularly my boys
3. weekends
4. clean towels
5. making my house our home

10th Day

quitting time

snooze button

dusk

raspberry soda

nickel creek

9

I'm sad I missed posting yesterday. I was toooooo sick yesterday to sit at the computer. So here's my list for today and yesterday.

1. that whatever was up with my stomach is not over. enough said.

2. carmex - nothing else works the same for me.

3. gain - love the smell of that laundry soap. love. it.

4. dishwasher - umm... what else is there to say about something that washes your dishes?

5. turtlenecks - i love wearing turtlenecks. i would wear them all the time but i imagine they would not be as much fun during the summer months.

6. delay timer on my coffee maker - waking up to fresh coffee... yum!

7. my husband will go to the store for things anytime i ask. he actually doesn't even mind!

8. sleep timer on my tv - because sometimes, i like falling asleep to a little noise.

9. my co-workers - i work with some great people that are fun to spend the day with. i like working as a team and helping the kids along their path

10. winter - because with the cold of winter comes the promise of new growth. Ü

Eight Days

* a comfy couch

* a night off

* dusk

* baby powder

* Amazing Grace

i'm so tired

so for the last 2 nights, I've not been able to sleep. i go to sleep but then wake up around 4-4:30.

i. am. so. tired.

hopefully, tonight, i'll sleep until my alarm goes off.

1. pico de gallo

2. quiet sunday afternoons

3. hot fudge cake

4. being home

5. being tired enough to sleep

Saturday

I love waking up when I wake up. I would be a better worker if that could happen during the week. I have NEVER liked getting up when someone/something tells me to get up, the exception being my sons when they were wee little babes.

I have some new projects I'm planning. I love putting patterns with the right yarn for the right person. It excites me to watch something new come to life.

I am in a good place right now. I am aware of how blessed I am. I have come far and the trip at times has been rough and rocky, very rough, but the place I'm in right now was worth the trip.

1. blue skies
2. saturday mornings
3. new haircuts
4. driving a stick shift
5. temps above 50!

Day 5 Grace

1. edamame

2. diet coke from McDonald's

3. indigo girls

4. my coffee pot

5. friday afternoons

Grace Day 4

1. my favorite coffee mug - Several years ago, I was in a Starbucks and saw a stainless steel coffee mug. I must have held it and looked at it for a bit before I put it back on the shelf. It was more than I wanted to spend but I did comment on how much I liked that mug. Six months later, I opened a Christmas present from my mom and that mug was inside.

2. knitting - i cannot begin to tell you the grace i get from knitting. i love making things with my hands. i love making things for other people with my hands.

3. singing- i have deadwood practice tonight. the feeling i get when we play is indescribable. it washes over my whole body and warms me from inside. the music is not just in my ears but in my body.

4. my car - i have had a recurring dream since i was in my early 20's. this dream started when i was single and didn't want to have any children or get married. i was having lots of fun dating and traveling and moving to different cities. or so i thought. in my dream, i was cooking and doing laundry, living with/raising several boys and i drove a suburban. when i had the chance to buy my suburban, it felt like my dream was coming all the way true.

5. hot showers - hot shower on a cold morning. ahhhh.

Grace day 3

winter - yes winter. a time when things stop growing and take a breath. a time for snuggling and sitting by a warm fire.

tea - a newly discovered thing for me.

warm socks - ahhh

a good dog - my dog follows me throughout the house. wherever i am, he needs to be too. i love my dog.

health - taken for granted until you don't have it.

Grace

1. nyquil

2. flannel pajamas

3. flannel sheets

4. sick days

5. my red down-filled comforter

Grace in Small Things

1. fresh coffee with half & half

2. puppies

3. a new book

4. sunshine

5. warm towels

I love having a clean house, it's the getting it clean part that kills me.

My Love Again

I posted this 2 years ago. I've spent today crying watching the inauguration, crying about my dog and quite honestly, I'm too tired to come up with something new. So, here is My Love 2 years later.

One more thing.... YES WE DID! I am SO proud to be an American!

Growing up, I was sure I was going to be famous. I envisioned myself either a star of the stage or the music scene. I worked toward my goals taking dance lessons, acting lessons, voice and piano lessons. I auditioned for numerous plays(and got a lot of parts), played in different bands and worked hard on perfecting my "craft". When I met my husband, my biological clock started ticking so loudly, it totally derailed my vision of my future. I abandoned my dreams of superstardom and set my sights on having a family with this man. I really didn't have any idea how to make a family or a marriage work. My own parents were divorced and while they were married, they were very unhappy. My grandparents had had a happy marriage but having viewed this relationship as a child, I wasn't sure that I hadn't made things look better than they really were. Seventeen years later, this man and I are still married. My marriage has lasted longer than my parents marriage. By one year. We have 3 wonderful sons that were very much wished and hoped and prayed for. Our marriage has gone through some very difficult times ~ try raising 3 sons while your husband works and puts himself through college and then you work full time and get a masters degree. But mostly, our marriage has had wonderful times. Tonight, when I sat down to write this post about my upcoming anniversary, I realized that I am famous. I might not be a famous actress or rock star, but I am famous. I am loved and adored and appreciated by my husband and by my three sons. And that, is better than any fame I ever imagined for myself as a young girl.

Responsibility

When you decide to take the plunge, it is always tinged with some reservations. But before you know it, you are head over heels in love.

Then comes the day when a decision needs to be made. And if you've got children (I have three) then you must explain your decision. Several times. And wonder if this is something your children will ever forgive you for.

Penny was a member of our family for 13 years. She was older than our youngest son. Our middle son was just 6 months old when she became a part of our family. My oldest son is devastated and my middle son, let's just say this is very difficult for him. He can't ever remember her not being in his life. My youngest son is not quite sure what to think.

Penny was the runt of her litter and almost didn't make it. Her tail was too long because the man we got her from felt terrible clipping it and didn't quite get it short enough. Penny was a great dog. She loved us fiercely and would bark and growl at everyone new to our door. You were a foe until Penny had decided you were ok. Penny had some puppies and I only know of one still living. My children learned about the miracle of life from her and loved helping her care for her pups. She was a wonderful mother and took great care of her litters.

Making this decision was so hard. My husband & I both knew it was time. But having to tell your children, never ever easy.

I already miss her.

Hometown Pride

Go Arizona Cardinals!

They've had a very long dry spell... maybe this year will be the Cubs year too!?!?!?

My Aunt Sue

was a grand lady. I will never meet a bigger Dallas Cowboys fan. Never. She was so proud of being from Texas and loved everything about it. Her daughter Cara was the pride and joy of her life. Cara could do no wrong and was often held up as the ideal standard for what a daughter should be.

Aunt Sue was a lifeguard in high school and taught me(forced me really) to dive off a diving board. I was terrified but did it to make her feel proud of me. And I'm telling you, I don't think there's anyone else in the world I would have done that for.



My Aunt Sue did not have an easy life. And honestly, it was her own doing. She was stubborn and opinionated to a fault. She wanted to do things her way and once she made a decision, she saw it through to the end, no matter the cost.



My Aunt Sue took care of her husband when most other people would have put him in a nursing home. He required around the clock care and she did this for years until his death.

I loved my Aunt Sue. She was not an easy person to love, but love her I did.

Remember...

laugh more, worry less.

Just got home from a church board meeting. I actually had to "make" myself go. I should have listened to myself and stayed home.

TGIF

that is all.

I'm Trying

so hard to keep my resolutions. So. hard. On days like today, when everything seems to spin out of control, it's hard to laugh. But, I did laugh(several times) and really, I was so busy, I didn't have any time to worry.

I

agree with Missy. Yes it is, I can feel it too!

Sometimes

people give you warnings and laughable moments if you are open to them.

And So It Begins

Today I am going to be very busy. Then tomorrow, back to school.

I had a really nice break. Some major upsetting things happened but I am dealing with them and taking things as they come.

This semester is going to be crazy busy with some awesome opportunities. I need to remember to enjoy myself. Remember to take care of myself and be in the moment.

If I had a new years resolution, it would be to laugh more and worry less.

Ugh.

Not how I wanted the year to start.

Just ugh.